This one is an example out of the box "whenever you buy pirated DVDs of Chinese origin, just don't read the description".



As we can see someone translated parts of the English text into Chinese and then back again. This backwards translation was most obviously done by someone who has no idea about the English language at all. But what to expect? It has to be cheap!

Nachdem nicht nur kopierte Autos, Computer, Mobiltelefone, Doktortitel und Markenklamotten aus China kommen, steigen jene Fernasiaten nun auch in die Produktion der Nigeriamails ein. Allerdings gilt auch hier, wie bei allen anderen Kopien: die Qualitätsstufe des Originals wird nie erreicht.

Mr. Peter Wong Tung Shun "@virgilio.it"@196.34.167.61
--
Lieber Freund.
Ich bin Herr Peter Wong Tung Shun, die Zusammenarbeit mit Bank of China
Ich habe ein Geschäft Vorschlag von US $ 22.500.000 Meter
Offshore-Konto mit Ihrer Hilfe, zu überweisen, wenn Sie fertig sind
werden.

Wenn Sie möchten, senden Sie Details der Transaktion nach Erhalt der
Antwort. Können Sie mir auf meine private E-Mail-Kontakt:
(wongpetershun@aol.com) und senden Sie mir die folgenden Informationen
zur Dokumentation 1) Vollständiger Name 2) Adresse des Wohnsitzes, 3)
private Telefonnummer

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
Herr Peter Wong Tung Shun

Interessant dabei ist, dass die Schuldenwährung des US-Dollar inzwischen schon in Metern gerechnet wird, und nicht mehr in Meilen, wie früher. Auch dass mein Wohnsitz eine eigene Adresse hat, ist mir neu. Aber man lernt ja immer noch gerne dazu.

Aus meiner Spambüchse fischte ich diese hübsche Mail. Gerichtet an mich persönlich warnte sie vor unbefugter Benutzung meines Visa-Kontos. Dumm nur, dass ich diese Kreditkarte gar nicht nutze. Aber was soll's. Ich zitiere einfach:

Betreff Ihr Benutzekonto wurde aus Sicherheitsgründen gesperrt !

Sehr geehrte Kunden von Verified by Visa und Mastercard
SecureCode,

Hallo

Wir haben vor kurzem festgestellt, dass verschiedene Computer auf
Ihr Konto
Verified by Visa und Mastercard SecureCode verbundenund versuchte
mehrere Kennwort auftreten.
Aus diesem Grund Ihre Kreditkarte wurde gesperrt.
Wir haben jetzt müssen Sie Ihre Kontodaten Verified by Visa und
Mastercard SecureCode bestätigen.
Wenn nicht innerhalb von 48 Stunden abgeschlossen werden wir
gezwungen, Ihr Konto auf unbestimmte Zeit auszusetzen,
wie kann es für betrügerische Zwecke genutzt werden.
Vielen Dank für Ihr Verständnis in dieser Weise.
Zur Reaktivierung Ihrer Kreditkarte:


Das Verfahren ist sehr einfach:

1. Laden Sie das beigefügte Formular.
2. Bestätigen Sie, dass Sie der Inhaber des Kontos sind und den
Anweisungen folgen.


Danke,
Security-Dienst.

Copyright 1999-2011 Verifed by Visa / Mastercard SecureCode.
All rights reserved.

Ach ja, Jungs, demnächst einfach mal in den Duden schauen, bevor Ihr Eure Mails losjagt. Schadet nie.

Wieder einmal erreichte mich eine dieser Mails, die beweisen, dass manche Menschen eher die Bedienung eines Mailprogrammes erlernen, anstatt sich vernünftig auszudrücken. Höchstwahrscheinlich ein Schulabbrecher. Hier die Mail:

I NEED YOUR REPLY IMMEDIATELY



Attn,Sir/Madam,

I am pleased and delighted to have contact with you via this medium. My name is Abdulaiye .R. Kone, I am from Dori Village in Burkina faso nationality.

I personally decided to contact you for successful of my heritance.

I have 256 kilogram of 22plus Carat Alluvial Gold Dust with ( Nine million six hundred thousand dollars $9.600.000.00 ) which i herited from my late mother Mrs Kone Mariama leave for me with my brother and sister and my mother have a miner that help her before she dead, The miner know about the heritance it’s him give me the secret of the heritance to claim it an I should look assistance will be help me claim my mother heritance for us, which i decided to look for assistance to claim it from the Security company in Burkina faso since 8year ago that my mother keep the heritance consignment box.

If you accept to assistance me with your financial, I will give you all instruction details and you be our cousin to claim the consignment for us because we did not know any our mother with our father family since they born us in Kumasi Ghana.

Your persentage will be 40% with expenses incurred during the business,60% will be for me with my brother and sister.

If you are interested, kindly indicate it in your response.

Thanks,
Abdulaiye.R.Kone

This text was sent to me from a friend. I am sure it already exists somewhere in the net, but I am just to lazy to search for it.

Geography of a woman
Between the age of 18 and 22 a woman is like Africa: half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 23 and 30 a woman is like America: well developed and open to trade. Especially for high financed investors.
Between 31 and 45 a woman is like India: very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 46 and 55 a woman is like France: gently ageing but sensual, with an appreciation for the finer things.
Between 56 and 60 a woman is like Yugoslavia: lost the war, haunted by past mistakes and in need of massive reconstruction.
From 61 on a woman is like Afghanistan: everyone knows where it is, but nobody wants to go there.

Geography of a man
Between 15 and 80 a man is like Libya: ruled by a dick.

Located in Wuse II (Plot 171, Aminu Kano Crescent), Wakkis is a well known place in Abuja. When you go there for Indian food, you will figure out that almost every day there are lots of expats there. The parking lot is showing lots of red registration plates (diplomatic registration) and inside the majority of the guest is white.

Wakkis offers a wide range of non-vegetarian as well as vegetarian dishes. Appetizers are around 600 to 900 Naira, while main dishes start at 2150 Naira. Plus 5% VAT. The food looks small, but is in fact enough to fill you up. Quality is always good, spices are not as hot as in Nigerian food. The restaurant itself is equipped simple, wooden benches and tables. Service is usually good, though sometimes you will have to wait for your food. The dishes are normally served with plain rice (a few roasted onions on top) or naan.

Nachdem ich mal wieder einen alten Mailaccount ausgegraben habe, auf dem von Zeit zu Zeit doch noch die eine oder andere Mail aufschlägt, war diesmal, dem schwachen Spamfilter sei Dank, eine nette Nachricht an mich zu finden. Die war zwar nicht an mich direkt geschickt worden, hatte aber mit einigen Besonderheiten aufzuwarten. Zum einen war ein Bild angefügt, zum anderen hatte sich der Versender die Mühe gemacht, den Originaltext aus dem Englischen durch einen Automatismus zu jagen, um eine Art deutsch herauszubekommen. Da er wohl des Deutschen nicht unbedingt mächtig ist, hat er den Teil auch nicht korrigiert.

Ich aber auch nicht. Also los:

Hello sweetie

My name is Judy, i am 25yrs old, i'm a free minded, open hearted girl, i like to take life as easy as i could, i'm one of the few that still believes in friendship,love, trust and signs, am very much single and ready to mingle. was browsing through the internet and came across your contact believe me i like what i see and i am attracted to you, it will be my sincere pleasure to be your friend if you don't mind, i hope you will not take my request for granted, feel free to email me, i will appreciate it if you can send me some pics to my private email address, i look forward to hear from you soon.
Take care.

Judy.

Hallo Schätzchen

Mein Name ist Judy, ich bin 25yrs alt, ich bin ein freier aufgeschlossen, offenherzige Mädchen, Ich mag das Leben so einfach wie ich könnte, ich bin einer der wenigen, die immer noch glaubt, in Freundschaft, Liebe, Vertrauen und Zeichen , bin sehr Single und bereit zu mischen. war das Surfen durch das Internet und stieß auf Ihre Kontaktdaten glauben Sie mir Ich mag, was ich sehe und ich bin zu Ihnen hingezogen, wird es meine aufrichtige Freude, dein Freund sein, wenn du nichts dagegen hast, ich hoffe, Sie werden das nicht mein Wunsch für gewährt, dann zögern Sie mir eine Email, ich werde es begrüßen, wenn Sie mir ein paar Bilder auf meiner privaten E-Mail-Adresse, ich freue mich, bald von Ihnen zu hören.
Achten Sie darauf.

Judy.

So here we are again.

Currently there's some refurbishment going on outside our office building. The house is 4 stories high, so scaffolding is needed on the outside to fix the new tiles. But this wouldn't be Africa if things were not slightly different to the rest of the world. So this is how scaffolding is fixed here:



Unfortunatly the light is weak inside the staircase, so the picture is a bit blur. But I think you can see that there's one bar from the outside entering the staircase through the window. And then there's a second bar preventing the first one from sliding out again.



Here you can see that the sharp edge of the scaffolding directly points into the emergency escape route in the staircase. But where is the HSE officer to complain about?

He simply doesn't exist.

More than 60 locations all over Nigeria are part of this project. Some of them more important, some less. Especially the bigger ones where different contractors are involved need periodically interface meetings to clarify questions and solve problems before they occur.


One of those locations is Calabar. Located in the far southeast of Nigeria it is a quite safe place to travel to. Just a bit less than an one hour flight away from Abuja Calabar is offering a completely different environment. In Abuja there are bushes and trees, yes, but generally there's a lot of dry grass and brown shining through. But here in Calabar everything is green. It starts already when flying in over thick, carpet-like forests where roads and small creeks virtually disappear inside. Then, once outside the airport, you will see big areas covered with grass and plants, all growing and blooming. Last time I was there it was harvesting season for pineapple, so everywhere along the road were small tables and stands offering freshly harvested pineapples. A bit back from the road you could see the pineapple plants and there, in between, the houses of the farmers trying to make some business.

Calabar. Not only that I had to go there for business reasons, as well parts of my family are living there. A nice opportunity to see them again. For me as white man. And as I wrote before: Calabar still is safe. Although we had a policeman escorting us, there was never need for him. Next time I will try to take more pictures.

It's been quite a while since I last posted something from Abuja. In fact, it was just the day before I left for a short holiday with the family back at home.

But now I am back again. During the time I was away the contract for the house I am moving to was finalized. So when I came back I immediately could move in. Of course still most of the furniture is missing, as I did not find the time for shopping around, but basic living is possible. The major things are there which is: a bed, a fridge and one roll of toilet tissue. What else do you need?

Well, the topic of this posting is about something else. So let's start now.
When you're in Africa, you will discover that there's a big hype regarding gadgets. The latest mobile phones, the newest electronic devices - you will find them here. Everybody needs nowadays those little handhelds with full alphanumeric keyboard to show off. Together with that the need of power (for charging these toys) is rising. Therefore those countries invest a lot of money to get their power networks refurbished and extended. But sometimes I ask myself if this is correct, if it was right to bring electricity to Africa? It may sound like racism, but I will explain why.

I moved into this house within a nice compound as first tennant. The house was empty for quite a while and so I was checking through what had to be re-done or fixed. Besides some AC units that lost gas over the time and therefore did not work well, there was no bigger issue. That's what I thought.

After my first night I got up in the morning and went into the bathroom. Waking up in a seating position is part of the ritual. During that time you got enough time to make plans for the day or just check the environment. Inside the bath tub outlet there was some piece of metal which caught my interest. I finished what I was doing and went to the bath tub to check if something broke off and was flushed there. But when I came near I could see it was a piece of support metal keeping the screw for the sieve into position. Most probably an adjustment after someone spoiled the hole of the sieve. Anyway, touching it was not really a good idea, as I received an electric shock. Ok, may have been static electricity. And as well I am a bit stupid. Second touch ended up with electric shock as well. So the conclusion was that static electricity was out of the possibilities. Next careful tries were touching the taps. Nothing on the tub, nothing on the sink. Good. Next floor, next bathroom. Touching the sieve: nothing. Touching the tap: bingo! I already started thinking about selling the principle to PHCN: power from the tap, just open it and you'll get a combination of water and light! Only the master bedroom on the top floor seemed to be without electricity on the taps.

So the decision grew to move everything to the top floor and use the bathroom of the master bedroom. But first it had to be cleaned. So I went upstairs and opened the tap for hot water. Felt a bt strange and not hot, when I put my finger inside. So I touched the tube coming from the water heater. Needless to say that it is made of metal. Double shock: hot and charged with electricity.

The next thing was going and complaining to he management. Before I started not to have any bath at all and smelling all around. The management organised an electrician to come around, check and fix the problem. A real specialist. He came to the house, touched the metal tube of one of the water heaters with his electrician screwdriver and told me "There is light!" If I did not knew before. Then he unscrewed the first switch for the water heater, without switching it off before. Well, he found out that there was still light on the water system. When trying to screw back the switch he caused a nice little spark which blew the fuse. No more light on the water pipes.

So we went up to the distribution box on the top floor and put two fuses in again which had tripped. Wonder what? Electricity on the water system existing again. Wow. Slowly I was impressed by this guy. He found out what I knew long before and what I already told him. But nevertheless, I am just a stupid consulting engineer anyway. So he took out the next heater switch. And found out that one fixing screw had caused a connecton in between the switched power cable and the earthing connection. So the earthing connection put full electricity to the outside of the water heater and, water is a very good conductor, the water system inside the house. he then fixed the problem and went again.

Hours later it came to my mind that if the earthing connection was carrying full 220Volts, why did the fuse not blow? Was it possible that all the earthing connections are useless inside the house? But now it is too late to tell. And touching a running system: never do so!